In my previous post, I talked a little about how I tried an indica strain of cannabis, which failed to help me sleep. Since that trial I’ve learned about, and there have been innovations of, non-psychoactive strains of cannabis.
In spite of all the emotional regulation I’ve practiced to overcome PTSD, there is only so much therapy one can take at a time. For those in between moments, there is medication and service animals for truly disabling situations. As my dog has become older and less able to walk long distances with me, medication has become more important for maintaining some semblance of normality.
Cannabis for Non-Psychoactive Medication
A little more than a week ago I tried CBDa, the acid form of cannabidiol extracted from cannabis. In some states, it’s available over-the-counter (or over the Internet). Before heading out to shop at the grocery store — one activity that has consistently been difficult to complete — I took a drop of a CBDa tincture. It felt like a miracle.
For the first time in years, I was able to be inside a grocery store without anxiety, overwhelm, or dissociation. I don’t remember the last time I was able to do this; probably before 9/11. I do remember the first time I had trouble in a grocery store: the day after 9/11. I can still see the refrigerated produce and the aisle that leads to it. I remember having trouble deciding what vegetable to get and feeling completely drained with nothing left to give. I don’t remember what I bought, but I remember feeling emotionally uncomfortable.
With a drop of CBDa tincture under the tongue, I didn’t sense any immediate change. But upon entering the store without my dog, I felt normal. I mean, I felt like a normal person. My head wasn’t cloudy. I didn’t feel like I needed to block out the noises that came from everywhere in 360 degrees. People turning corners or making grocery store motions didn’t startle me. With a list in hand, I went through the aisles with no trouble, even stopping at interesting items and reading labels. I was enjoying myself and didn’t want to leave.
Feeling normal lasted more than a week on one drop, containing approximately 10mG of CBDa. But this morning, while walking Penny, I realized I was dissociating again. The litmus test for these symptoms of dissociation, overwhelm, and anxiety for me is a grocery store. But I will carry the tincture bottle with me if and when another shopping event occurs.