Frank Talk

One recent day after therapy, I came across a storefront filled with classic and vintage audio equipment. My 70s-inner-child delighted in the display and pushed me to go inside. “Hello. Welcome!” said the man behind the counter. “Do you have a Marantz by chance?” I asked. “Oh, you know about…

Life Improves with an Idea for a Non-Profit

With PTSD symptoms disappearing or being less frequent, I began to enjoy everyday activities again. Unfortunately, enjoying life more also made me less appreciative of my job. A manager at the company could see I was no longer happy there, and since they were making budget cuts, they let me…

New Title

It’s common among well-known authors for them to have written three books before becoming financially successful with book sales. My first book (tongue in cheek), AlphaDog, Get The Bitch You Want still sells through Amazon and Kindle. I want to write a book about PTSD, but I want it to…

Making Space: When a victim does you wrong

Trauma can be devastating enough to cause a person to behave irrationally. Sometimes the irrationality hurts people the victim cares about. I had a friend like this back in the days before I knew I had PTSD. Julie was a victim of rape when she was a young teen and never told…

FasTrak’s Valentine’s Day Letter

I’ve heard a lot of complaining since moving to San Francisco. Maybe it’s the people I’m around. But then, I’ve noticed that relatively few drivers wave “thank you” when their cars are let in front. Very few people look up and say a greeting when passing by. And just as…

Inclement Weather (Why Riders Must Lock Their Motorcycles’ Steering Columns)

Yesterday it rained. It was also windy. So windy that it knocked a motorcycle over. I stopped to pick it up, as any neighborly rider would do. But I could not do it by myself because the handlebars were not locked. If there is any one thing I always do…

These Memories Never Go Away

Months have now passed without an anxiety attack or any generalized anxiety. I’ve had a couple of nightmares, but they were not related to 9-11. One would think that for someone recovering from PTSD that this would mean the memories would not return. But this is not so. I have…

Martin Luther King Day Ride

Martin Luther King Day 2015 Took the bike out for a ride to Alice’s Restaurant at the famous Four Corners where Route 35 and Highway 9 cross in Woodside, California. It’s been about 3 months since riding Gwen, my 2009 Triumph Street Triple. My job has been too taxing and…

Free books in NYC

In 2008, I was unable to keep a job longer than a week. My anxiety from PTSD was so high, I could barely complete a PowerPoint document for the advertising and media companies I had worked for for years. I took out a loan against my home equity and wrote…

Stress Manifested

I still have trouble sleeping. And I still cry easily. It seems that any stressor is enough to send me into a lost state. I feel tense but not anxious. I’m in New York City. My art studio building in Dumbo, Brooklyn, is going condo and my studio mates and…