The Neurological Disability of PTSD

Many people with PTSD refuse to admit that it can be a disability.  But there is biological evidence indicating how it can be.  Trauma affecting the brain that has experienced previous traumas undergo a change in brain structure.  Namely, the hippocampus decreases in size.  While researchers do not yet know…

Photo of lone man

Reaching a stranger (Stopping suicide)

Do you ever see a person on the street and wonder if that person is suicidal?  I often wonder this, and it is one of the reasons why I talk to strangers, including the homeless. Today, while walking Penny, I met a person who I will refer to as DM,…

Letting go of 9/11 dust

Almost every time I visit my therapist at Gouverneur Medical Center in Manhattan, she reminds me to continue cleaning out my apartment that had filled up with hoarded objects. Three of these objects went on eBay today. The most difficult item was a filter cartridge that contained particles from the…

Frank Talk

One recent day after therapy, I came across a storefront filled with classic and vintage audio equipment. My 70s-inner-child delighted in the display and pushed me to go inside. “Hello. Welcome!” said the man behind the counter. “Do you have a Marantz by chance?” I asked. “Oh, you know about…

Practicing Emotional Regulation Online

Out of loneliness, I joined SupportGroups.com, a forum for all kinds of mental and emotional health issues, offered as a free service by a company that is focused on mental health and addiction treatment. More than appease my loneliness, I found people who needed help in the moment. I began…

Brooklyn is Safe Again

I left Brooklyn shortly after Hurricane Sandy devastated parts of the coast of New York and New Jersey in late 2012. I no longer felt safe in my apartment, not because a hurricane could damage it — on the contrary, my building withstands hurricanes — but because I realized how shut…

9/11 Victory

Yesterday was 9/11. For the first time in years I didn’t cry or become depressed. I almost cried after seeing an image on Instagram of a guy on a stair-climbing machine at a gym, wearing a firefighter’s uniform in honor of 9/11. I choke and tear up a bit just…

PTSD Regret

PTSD can push us to do things we later regret, like getting into fights. (I don’t regret all the fights I’ve gotten into. Ha ha.) But one regret in particular is bothering me today. A little more than two years after 9/11, my recently-ex boyfriend was in a car accident. I broke…

CBDa Medicine

In my previous post, I talked a little about how I tried an indica strain of cannabis, which failed to help me sleep. Since that trial I’ve learned about, and there have been innovations of, non-psychoactive strains of cannabis. In spite of all the emotional regulation I’ve practiced to overcome PTSD, there…

The Best Medicine

Early last week, I had been retraumatized and was mentally exhausted the rest of the week. Though I had worked through feelings of depression, I still had apathy. With apathy, there is no motivation. In PTSD, apathy is not something that comes simply with a situation. It weighs down everything. I was…