Life with PTSD
Yesterday was the first 9/11 I didn’t feel angry or depressed since that fateful day. I’m still having trouble sleeping without Penny right next to me. Each night I try letting her sleep by herself, but eventually call her over. And I realize I still have a hard time concentrating on one writing task for … Continue reading9/11 in 2018
The one positive aspect of PTSD’s hypervigilance is the ability to turn the energy into something positive. I think many people who have faced trauma involving a threat to life become activists. I certainly have, and I want to encourage more people to become activists. This does not necessarily mean attending rallies or marching in … Continue readingYou Can Fight for Disability Justice Too
On one airline’s website, which I checked before booking a flight, the text differentiates between emotional support animals, “psychiatric service” animals, and service animals for more obvious needs such as sight and hearing assistance. The webpage grouped emotional support and psychiatric service animals together. This troubled me, because according to the ADA, there is no … Continue readingThe Difference Between Emotional Support and Service Animals
Ten days prior to today felt glorious, like I was 30-something again, able to be productive, an over-achiever, work full-time plus, and enjoy it. Today I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I’m not foggy, but my brain seems to have an impasse. I left my phone at home without realizing until a half mile … Continue readingImpasse on a Mental Capacity Rollercoaster
As I type this text, I feel tears of bittersweet relief welling up, because what seemed impossible only a few years ago now seems like a possibility. My panic attacks have been gone for three years; they used to be on the verge of uncontrollable overwhelm on a daily basis with hyperventilation as its precursor. … Continue readingHealing from Chronic PTSD is Possible
Being a New Yorker, one learns to be direct in conversation and say what one thinks without concern. With hypervigilance, this directness has an added emotional element. BUT to a person with PTSD this element of emotion may not feel loaded with emotion. In fact, the person with PTSD may not even realize emotion is … Continue readingHypervigilance and Why Motorcycles
Kate Spade a few days ago, Anthony Bourdain today. Hung by themselves. We tend to think that when people commit suicide, they are depressed. While depression may be a factor, in the moments before a person actually commits the act, feelings of depression may be relieved by the very-final decision. According to CBS News Ms. … Continue readingThe Other Side of Suicide
Many people with PTSD refuse to admit that it can be a disability. But there is biological evidence indicating how it can be. Trauma affecting the brain that has experienced previous traumas undergo a change in brain structure. Namely, the hippocampus decreases in size. While researchers do not yet know why the hippocampus shrinks, there … Continue readingThe Neurological Disability of PTSD
Do you ever see a person on the street and wonder if that person is suicidal? I often wonder this, and it is one of the reasons why I talk to strangers, including the homeless. Today, while walking Penny, I met a person who I will refer to as DM, short for some words that … Continue readingReaching a stranger (Stopping suicide)
Almost every time I visit my therapist at Gouverneur Medical Center in Manhattan, she reminds me to continue cleaning out my apartment that had filled up with hoarded objects. Three of these objects went on eBay today. The most difficult item was a filter cartridge that contained particles from the World Trade Center. After the … Continue readingLetting go of 9/11 dust