Do you ever see a person on the street and wonder if that person is suicidal? I often wonder this, and it is one of the reasons why I talk to strangers, including the homeless. Today, while walking Penny, I met a person who I will refer to as DM, short for some words that … Continue readingReaching a stranger (Stopping suicide)
After a hard day yesterday, I visited my TIPI mentor, Cedric. He advised me to work on the phone call trigger. I didn’t think I could relive that moment. I don’t remember what the caller said. I only remember starting to cry and having a hard time saying anything. So I relived the exact moment … Continue readingSensory Emotional Regulation Working
Three posts in three days = struggling a lot. Having trouble concentrating at work. My thoughts keep turning toward some difficult events: losing my beloved friend who helped me after 9/11 to injuries from a car accident, having a miscarriage, and then learning about a potential co-parent’s desire for an abortion if the unborn child … Continue readingAlleviating Depression
The “key stone” moment that sent me into the oblivion of PTSD happened while hearing the president of Fuji Bank name all twelve of his employees who were lost in the World Trade Center disaster. Incredibly, now as I type this, my eyes are dry. It used to be that I could not stop tears … Continue readingProgress with EMDR
Airports are triggers for me. Being in an airport, thinking about airports, thinking the word airport sends a signal to my brain that makes my eyes well up with tears. It’s almost uncontrollable. I’ve had my dog travel with me on all but two airplane trips since adopting her in 2009. The two times flying … Continue readingDealing with Triggers
There is much sadness along with the news of Robin Williams’ passing. He was one of my favorite comedians, one who seemed down-to-earth and well-liked in his neighborhood of Sea Cliff and around town in San Francisco. My co-worker, Chris, shares this: I don’t know how old I was, but I do remember filming this … Continue readingFarewell, Robin Williams
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (edition IV), there are 17 criteria for diagnosing PTSD. I don’t remember how many my case met, though it was nearly all of them. Going through the list today, there is maybe one that still holds true: difficulty sleeping. That may easily be attributed to … Continue readingRecovery Process
It’s a perfect day for riding. Temperatures in the high-70s, low-80s. The humidity is low, the sun is bright, and there are no clouds in the sky. But I did’t want to ride today. They say that PTSD gets worse before it gets better. Since arriving in San Francisco, I haven’t wanted to take off … Continue readingA Beautiful Day
Well, I forgot to check the front end to make sure nothing was coming loose. But all was fine anyway. My top speed was 75. I guess the speedometer on old Molly needed some warming up. Still, it only went to 70, but the needle wasn’t jumping up and down like it did going 65. … Continue readingBack on the home front with a bloody maria