Life with PTSD
Last night I had a nightmare. I almost forgot it. But Eamonn, my therapist, told me to write down any since I couldn’t remember having any for a long time. Now I realize I’ve had many nightmares but do not remember them. Normally, you have a nightmare and you remember it. Any event that causes … Continue readingNightmares
Today I had my first accident with an automobile. I hope it’s my last. It wasn’t serious. In fact, it wasn’t even a fender bender. It didn’t even slow down traffic. (An earlier accident a few miles down the freeway was already slowing traffic to snail’s pace.) I had an early conference call and was … Continue readingFender Bender
About a month ago, I had a 45-minute phone call with the nationwide World Trade Center Health program. The call consisted of a series of questions concerning my health over the last year that would be a result of the 9-11 tragedy. I hadn’t seen a physician about the WTC events since leaving New York, … Continue readingPTSD: A New Perspective
Two months is a long time to let go by without writing a blog post. I suppose it’s a symptom of learning how to live with the rest of the world while allowing a burned brain room to heal.While on a vacation from my first full-time job in 11 years is a good enough time … Continue readingReflections on 2013
It’s easy for a person with PTSD to become re-traumatized. I didn’t believe this when my therapist told me. Probably because when catecholamine levels are high, you just feel numb. After a long time of numbness, nothing is surprising, nothing is exciting, and nothing is scary. I thought being re-traumatized was impossible. When catecholamine levels … Continue readingBye-bye Sunshine, Hello Fog
This week was TIPI training again. The practice is new in the United States, so it still goes by its French acronym. But the name, TIPI, doesn’t quite appeal to Americans. Who wants to say a name that brings memories of toilet paper bombing? I’ve come up with a different acronym: EDIT, or Emotional Difficulty … Continue readingOvercoming September 11
Every year since the 9-11 tragedy, as September had approached, I would feel more depressed. This year is different. I have not felt sadness until now. It’s September 8. The west coast doesn’t treat the day like New York. In New York there are memorials. People go out, but parties are not publicized events. In … Continue readingSeptember 11 on the West Coast
Every now and then it hits me that I am in California. The thought goes something like, “Oh my goodness. I’m in San Francisco!” After 40 years in New York, being in the Golden State is quite a change. But the change doesn’t affect me like most people. I didn’t sense any stress about it. … Continue readingMomentary Gains of Relativity
I don’t remember if heightened senses are a symptom of PTSD in the DSM, but it’s back. Walking down the street, I smelled a fire. I looked around for smoke but didn’t see any and continued on. On the way back, the smell of smoke was stronger. It smelled of burning vinyl like in an … Continue readingSuper-human Smell
From the first week of July until yesterday, I thought I was healed from PTSD. It’s now the the first week of August. It seemed like all my symptoms were gone. I will preface the rest of this post with this note: this post won’t be very eloquent. It might seem disjointed. PTSD Symptom Returns … Continue readingRollercoaster Healing